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introduction : types of deck : battle packs : functions : tonearm shape :

Battle Packs / DJ in a box

Good God. The salesman of some company saw this market niche didn't they? At a big strokey beard meeting and with DJing the most popular hobby for everyone and sundry to take up since roller skating, I can imagine he'd present it to his Board of Director's like this.....

"We know nothing about this area but it has huge potential growth to make us thousands of pounds. We'll do an out of the box DJ package."

The Golden salesman with adjusted tie and top button undone, talks as the Board look back at him, jaw open and totally confused. They assume that the greying 55 year old salesman presenting his new idea is proving that he is "down" with the youngsters of today. They allow him to continue.

He undoes his top button and tucks has a trouser leg tucked into one sock.

"We supply two very badly working inaccurate record players turntables."

The Board start smiling and nodding now as they now have a rough idea of what the mad-man in front of them is now saying. "We'll re-badge the cheapest mixer we can find. We will call them Turntables or better still "Decks". We pay ridiculously small prices for the worst equipment we can, slap on a huge profit margin for our pockets but sell it to the unsuspecting public for four times what we paid for it. Its like legal extortion."

"But isn't that rip off" asks a very brave Director.

"Absolutely" replies the golden salesman, "but we cover that up by making it seem very reasonable value for money.....we price it around the entry level to the DJing market. That way people will also hope that it will be great but in all honesty HALF EXPECT it to be rubbish. They will be consumed by their own greed and known they shouldn't have been such a cheap skate, had some patience and waited to buy something worth having."

"What about the parents?" someone asks.

"They will support their child buying it. Its a great way to get a moodly teenager to smile and get them out of your hair for many hours of the day. The parents will view it as a fad and just some nice peace and quiet. Peace of mind for a couple of hundred pounds. They also know that they aren't out with their friends smoking those Tweeds and getting themselves into public mischief. Their child will use them for a couple of months but give it up very quickly because the trick is these are virtually IMPOSSIBLE fora any normal human being to actually DJ or mix on!! The child gets put off as they will think it is them being hopeless all just before the equipment breaks of its own accord."

"That's great but not what I meant Brian. What about the parents BUYING this package box concept FOR their children. It will be expensive after all. We DO need to pay for all our champagne at the Christmas bash don't you know."

"Better still" replies the Golden Salesman. "It is their teenager's birthday coming up. They will have no idea about ANY of it apart from hearing their teenager playing awful scratching music and all that boom-booom-boom music all our teenagers all listen to. When you're watching Gardeners World and you can hear a permanent thumping through the ceiling from within their locked room.....but when you finally gain access to the room to ask them to turn it down you realise the actual volume is not very loud at all? They feel that if they embrace their child's interest it will put them off it altogether. This is the beauty of our range."

Much nodding and mumbling goes about the room..."its got no tune" etc... "in my day lyrics were meaningful"....."all that drum and bose"......."dreadful noise"......"that tune was originally out when I was a child - I remember heading into town to buy for 2 shilligns and six pence after school one Saturday morning"......

The salesman continues, "The adults will have been bombarded with other advertising on Burger King adverts and will already be aware that DJing is very cool and very "Now!". We don't even have to raise awareness of DJs. That's already done and we don't even have to pay for it. Most people over the age of 30 will have no knowledge, understanding or requirements on technical ability of the equipment when buying it so we'll blind them with terminology and torque ratings and statistics that although may be technically correct are in fact totally meaningless when it comes to USING the equipment or comparing it to something like a quality deck such as this Technics as an example. I brought this into show you. I've had it since 1980 and it still works....."

"I'm not sure about this Brian." says the Director.
"Would people buy such rubbish for that much money, in all honesty when even I, with my limited lack of knowledge, know that Technics are the best??"

"For this may I talk frankly Mr Director Man... It is your fiancee's birthday and you haven't mananged to spend as much time preparing for her present as you would like. You heard her drop many many hints about how her makeup is so old and past it it has almost got into your daily routine of conversation somewhere at some point. In fact she won't shut up about it....on and on about lipsticks. You in your blind ignorance have no interest in it apart fom it will make her VERY happy. You get to the shop (the only one open as it is too late for regular shopping in this area), and once stood in front of the ladies makeup counter you get all embarrassed and realise you can't remember anything she wanted. Would you buy a lipstick a blusher and whatever else each based on their own merits?? NO. Why not? Because you know no different and have a very limited range to choose from in front of you. You go with a staff recommendation because you have no idea about it, don't have time to research it, have no real interest in it yourself, no time to source anything else and you have no option but to by it immediately. The sales lady under her three inches of make-up tells you that they have the answer. Reasonably priced bag with one of every type of makeup product in it. And its all one price. What do you do? You buy a make-up bag full of stuff and retreat home with your all-in-one purchase. On presenting your fiancee with her 21st birthday present she reliably informs you you have bought everything she said she wanted under NO circumstances, you are totally self absorbed, thoughtless and that she wouldn't be seen dead wearing any of it."

'Yes Brian, you are a cheeky scamp but I do see your point.....but won't the children hate the package as well?'

"Of course they will but they will assume it's their lack of practice, knowledge or general application for the main skills of DJing and nothing to do with the equipment. Its genius. Children are also far more subtle, Mr Director, than your ungrateful young fiancee. Children will smile and say thank you. We do the same. We just rub our hands together and count the money when we get bored. We sell AT parents, advertise on Saturday morning telelvision and especially Christmas time etc. We sell them only where most people will see it especially through catalogues and the Argos book. We'll put it in a nice glossy box with a big graffitti'd logo on it or something to make it look 'Rad' and they'll sell. Trust me......I'm a salesman.....And scratching is cool"

You know what? He was right, they do sell and I have no idea why. Research research research is your key here. Any DJ worth their salt will tell you that "battle packs" or DJ in a box whatever are just about putting crap in a box and charging you a low price to make it look like a bargain. ANy that say they are Scratch Packs or are that the mixer is suitable for scratching IS an even bigger joke.

Scratching on ANY Dj in a box pack is LUDICROUS and at best, laughable in every conceivable way.

You think you are getting the whole deal to find out its actually three lumps of crap connected by wires. Sound quality will be appalling, durability will be even worse and they will be no better that belt drive decks with pitch adjustment. And to say they have pitch adjustment is probably the biggest joke. Some decks have pitch adjustment WHEELS not even a pitch slider. How accurate are they? They aren't. Yes they are better these days and I haven't seen a wheel adjustments for a while but the concept is the same.

Just because it says Pitch adjustment don't think it will be a) accurate b) any use to you and c) last forever. It just means you can change the speed of a 33 record or a 45 record by increasing or decreasing it either side of its normal speed. There will be no mention of them being accurate enough being able to get two decks to adust to the SAME amount so they will run together, at the same speed and stay in sync. No mention of that at all. You can just adjust the pitch. Yes you can do that so technically they aren't lying. Wow. You have pitch adjustable decks. Poke a normal turntable that doesn't have it and you can make it pitch adjustable. Winding it on using your finger and the label makes it temporarily pitch adjustable.

They are shit. Sorry for swearing (once only on this whole website) but this is something I feel VERY strongly about. So will you if you go and buy one. Live with it for a week try and learn to beatmix on them and it will soon become VERY apparent (even by following some of the tutorials here) that you have purchased several hunks of junk and these atrocities of equipment could probably single handedly put you off what DJing is actually about by giving you the impression that it really is totally impossible, no fun at all and the most frustrating thing since you became a monk. It's a criminal waste of you (or your parents) money, time and effort. No emails about the swearing, thank you. Read the disclaimer!

AVOID, AVOID, AVOID

Buy two decks and a mixer that suits you not what some company thinks is a good package mixer for you. The mixers too will probably have wonderful effects units. That too (and all the other features) will be as poor as the decks and equally as useless.

Its the only method of convincing people who don't know what they are buying that belt drives are a great option. Even the direct ones found in these packages simply wouldn't sell if they were sold on their own. Its the mis-conception that all your dreams are in one box. They aren't. Trust me.

Summary

In conclusion, most care and attention should be given to this piece of equipment. Give up everything else in terms of quality and how good things will look if that saving means you can buy the best decks on the market. They will aid your progression and learning won't be nearly so frustrating.

Quite simply you get what you pay for. Cheap decks are cheap for a reason and vice versa. In the long run it is a more expensive route if you stick at DJing. Better products hold their value far better when it come to resale, so the amount you will loose is significantly reduced although the initial outlay will be more.

The best tip I can offer you? Spend all your money on the best you can possibly afford. Beg, busk or whatever to raise those funds. Save on your mixer and headphones and new stylus, records. Everything. Don't eat. Just don't scrimp here, I beg you. Buy one deck at a time if necessary and build your equipment up over time.

You'll also see this elsewhere on the site but one guarantee I can give you and it is most applicable here.....

Buy cheap buy twice.

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